Nourishing The Essence Of Life
“Hope is a waking dream.”
- Aristotle
I am incredibly contemplative, and lately (in the past couple of years), when I find myself here, an inherent tenderness takes charge — a tenderness with myself in all of her aspects. A tenderness that, if I allow it space, time, and encouragement, not only becomes my lens for self but also can easily become my lens for the world.
What I am leaving out is that this state of contemplation, wonder, and tenderness is sometimes only discovered or remembered after angst, disgust, and even disdain have had their way with me. It’s as if I only know how to surrender to the truest version of myself after I am exhausted from defending myself in thought, word, and action.
How about you? Are you easily tender with yourself and the world, or does it take some priming to fall into the depths of archaic feelings of hopelessness that have somehow entangled the present moment and are screaming at us in nano-seconds of time through cues in the body and thoughts in the mind, saying DANGER, DANGER, DANGER?
To honor my contemplations this morning and the depths of hopelessness I subjected myself to, I will muse on the idea that hopelessness is way more fragile than hope and that being full of hope is not only not delusional but that hope is life itself.
“Life is full of challenges and uncertainties, but it is also full of hope. In every moment, there is the possibility for growth, for change, and for the emergence of something beautiful. Embrace the journey, for it is through the trials and triumphs of life that hope shines brightest.”
~ Unknown
Hope Equals Life
This past weekend, while working with a beloved client, I heard the words “hope equals life” clear as a bell; this beautiful sunny Saturday morning message from Creation was specifically for the dear person on the other side of the Zoom screen. I could immediately sense and see that it resonated with them and that it felt life-affirming for him; I also felt it throughout my being as true and something not only worth remembering but an idea worth contemplating, chewing on, and wondering about.
Since that session this past weekend, I have had the thought, “Having hope is delusional and even harmful; you must live in reality. Give up!” enter my mind a few times, and to tell you the truth, once I realized the thought pattern, I recognized that I most likely have had that thought a billion times in my life. A little voice that is trying to protect me says that hope is not reality, that hope gets us places we don’t want to be, that to hope is to risk yet another disappointment…yada, yada, yada?
Through my feelings and contemplations, I am also understanding that hope does not mean, as many of us may have learned, to be hopeful for what I want or to be hopeful for being someplace other than where I am.
So here is what I am realizing, what I am digesting, and what I am asking for more clarity on (with grace and ease, of course).
Hope (at least the definition I heard this past weekend) is not about hoping for different circumstances or even a future outcome; the idea that hope equals life means that hope is in the now and in the present, and it kindles the fire of living; it is life force. It is literally saying, “This is your foot on the ground, that is the sun on your face, that is the breeze in your hair. “You are alive; therefore, you have hope.” It is a natural state of living, and it is from this place of living that the most profound and beautiful choices, actions, and words can come.
I remember when the 2020 pandemic shut down life as we knew it, I thought a lot about hope and became competent at living in the moment. Uncertainty (that is always true) became a habitual and friendly thought. Somehow, because I didn’t know what the next day would bring, this idea felt easier to access.
Today, years after the shutdown, I see that I have once again forgotten that uncertainty does not mean there is no hope; uncertainty means that all the hope in the world is available to me if I choose it in the moment. From this vantage point, I have choices, not plans and ideas, not judgments.
“Hope is like the sun,
which, as we journey toward it,
casts the shadow of our burden behind us.”
~ Samuel Smiles
A Few Words on Hopelessness and Hope
When someone experiences hopelessness, they may feel overwhelmed by a sense of futility, believing that their actions and efforts are futile or the opposite, that they must make everything happen themselves. Left unchecked, these feelings of despair and pessimism can lead to depression and even anxiety, manifesting emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
For some, life’s feelings were overwhelming and dangerous when we were young, so we may have learned useful yet unhealthy coping habits that have carried into adulthood and ultimately leave us entrenched in thoughts of hopelessness. For many of us, this causal reaction is so habitual and ingrained that we don’t even notice it in our daily lives. It is a nanosecond of thought, and we are propelled into hopelessness.
How these manifestations come to be is not as important as the fact that hopelessness is not a lack of hope; it is what happens when we continually squash hope, life, and our life force through our thoughts, behaviors, and actions. When we consciously and subconsciously act upon feelings of mistrust and fear in an attempt to manage and control hope. When we believe the body, mind, and spirit cues that we are trapped, what happens when we don’t allow hope to guide the way and forget that we are merely hope in action?
Empowerment ensues when we courageously choose to be in the moment with all of its thoughts, feelings, sensations, and gremlins. How? We trust that we have the ability to face all of it. We trust that we have the ability to be in life fully.
Three Steps to Living in Hope.
Practice Mindfulness Daily:
The first step is awareness and recognition of when our habitual thoughts and behaviors lead us to feelings of hopelessness. The way we develop the ability to know what our subconscious is doing is to slow down our lives through daily mindfulness practice. This could involve meditation, deep breathing exercises, or simply being present and attentive to your thoughts, feelings, and surroundings. By cultivating mindfulness, you can develop greater self-awareness and observe your thought patterns without judgment so that you trust all that is present, cultivating a sense of inner peace and clarity that feels good so you are motivated by goodness and no longer by fear. his awareness can help you recognize the moments when the illusion of hopelessness visits, allowing you to say “not so fast” and to respond with the truth of hope.
Make Friends with All Aspects of You:
Step two is naming, identifying, recognizing, and expressing gratitude for all your parts and feelings about any of those parts. Whether through journaling, verbal conversations, or simply feeling it. Once you have seen and identified the energies, let everyone have a seat at the tea table, pour everyone a cuppa, and listen. Allow even the nastiest of voices to be heard without resistance and with curiosity. Take time to reflect on the ways your survival self got you to the here and now. By focusing on acceptance and compassion for all you have been through, you can shift your perspective from obedience toward the voices within to a deep relationship with the present and how you want to respond to life. No longer is the petulant child nor the exacerbated ego in charge. Befriending all parts of us leads the way to the natural flow of prahna, life, and hope.
Speaking of Ego:
In step three, we surrender the illusion that we can fix things through self-will, rationalization, determination, powering through, bullying ourselves, and anything else the ego sends our way. As Tosha Silver wisely stated, “Intention without surrender is delusion.” By being willing to recognize, name, and surrender our feelings and behaviors, we depower our ego to rest up for when we genuinely need its services. By surrendering, we open the door for hope; our habits are replaced with being engaged with the dance of life at the moment, along with all of its feelings, sensations, situations, and experiences. Our responses feel enlightened and grace-filled.
“Hope is the heartbeat of the soul.”
~ Michelle Horst
As I close this missive, my invitation to each of you and me this week is to spend some time wondering if tenderness may be our new default setting and habitual response. May the ego (in all its incarnations and forms) relinquish control of our moments, taking a back seat to the aspects of us that know life is for living, not for protecting. May the ego take a little rest, for an hour, a day, or the rest of our life, and wait for us to call upon it?
Hope springs eternal for this life-affirming idea :)
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