A Simple Practice for Cultivating Peace During Turmoil

As the world stage takes on yet another horrific reality of what it means to live within humanity, I thought maybe all of you would like to hear the simple practice that gives me the distance I need to be more present with, and curious about my emotions.

I began this practice (a simple yet profoundly effective use of awareness) years ago, and it has given me, throughout the years, the gift of having an ability to feel fear, sadness, anger, and all of my emotions, while at the same time leaving me fully capable of being who I want to be and doing what I can, and not frozen or absent within the overwhelm of feelings.

One day, a long while back, I imagine about the same time I was reading Michael Singers’ The Untethered Soul, I happened to hear a thought rumble through my mind. The thought was simply this — “I am sad”, and I then thought “wait-a-second…..who is sad?” This tiny micro-thought, which followed my declaration of emotion, brought with it a granule of space, that allowed me to separate my identity from the emotion. I immediately felt the emotion release the hold it had on me, and therefore this emotion did not have control of the moment. The separation from the emotion also left it unable to engulf me in feelings, so overwhelmingly present, that I would find myself unconsciously employing some sort of distraction in order to not feel (anything).

“Your only identity is I AM undefined and infinite. Any label you give yourself limits yourself.”~ Deepak Chopra

Have you ever felt an emotion come in, and then notice your mind immediately goes into a story, to reinforce the feeling? I for sure have, and I imagine you have too, considering that emotion is biologically a 90-second chemical reaction, and our ability to stay in the emotion is only through the thoughts that keep it present. Wild huh??

So, as we are experiencing this 90-second chemical reaction (to a trigger or experience), and we choose to think or proclaim ”I am (insert emotion here )”, we are actually choosing to identify with the emotion, and we continue to embroil our entire being in becoming what we are feeling. I often write about not being our thoughts, today I am asking you to entertain that we are not our thoughts, we are not our feelings, and we are not our emotions.

Now, this is not to say, that we are not experiencing a true, and perhaps profound feeling; we absolutely are. The idea I invite you to play with is that the deep deep feeling is not YOU. It is a 90-second chemical reaction of your biology, or, perhaps we think of it as simply information, and what you choose to do with that information can be the difference between experiencing turmoil or equanimity throughout your day.

The practice I use and recommend to start on the road to a more tranquil, while still present, emotional life is a simple reframe, using language.

The Reframe

When I recognize emotion, feelings, or even sensations are present, I simply practice thinking or stating “I feel’ as opposed to “I am”. Language is so powerful, this simple replacement of “I AM” to “I FEEL” allows our psyche, subconscious, and ego to relax just enough for us to then choose to be present with, and maybe even curious about, what we are feeling, instead of identifying with it. This gives us access to the information that the emotion is bringing into our lives.

Additionally, when we identify with an emotion, we become attached to staying in the emotion, meaning our ego is now involved, and our feeling becomes a hostage of our own self-importance and perceived survival. It is such a paradox to realize, that when we identify with something, even that which we don’t want, we grip it. We treat it like a treasure, but this is a treasure we are afraid to open, so we bury it deep within.

“And, yes, words matter. They may reflect reality, but they also have the power to change reality” ~William Raspberry

With the declaration of “I feel” we release the grip, that the emotion has on us which in turn gives us a willingness to be with it and not resist it. Also, as we reframe to “I feel,” we are separating ourselves from our experience, thus releasing overwhelm from the feeling, and inviting in a tiny kernel of consciousness to the situation. This creates space for curiosity, and actually moving through our emotions and feelings, getting to the other side of the uncomfortableness that emotions can represent with our Self intact. This in turn breeds self-confidence in experiencing our emotions and our lives.
I end today, by inviting you to practice the “I feel” in the coming weeks, and I would love to hear how you get on with it. Does it bring more peace, equanimity, and calm into your daily life?

I also invite you to save the “I Am” for all that you want to be and all that you want to become. You are precious, giving all the more reason to keep your language aligned with truly what you are, limitless and infinite. From this place of connection with ourselves, we can then utilize our experience with what we are feeling as a signpost along the path of life.

As a side note; a beautiful meditation to accompany this work is “So Hum “(I am). You may use the mantra by saying in your mind “So” on your inhale and “Hum” on your exhale. You may also chant this mantra or simply listen to the chanting while meditating, walking, or during any activity or quiet time.

If you know anyone who would benefit from reading this post, then feel free to share it and if you feel called to, join my mailing here to receive my weekly Mindful Monday musing much like the above.